Focus

Or, Why We Keep Cat Treats In The Bathroom

My partner Mitchy and I really are perfect for each other. In our house, it is a common occurrence to ask a question and not hear any response whatsoever for a solid 45 to 120 seconds, only to then hear a clear “Yes” or “No” with detailed assertions attached. That’s just the length of time it takes for a question to permeate the veil of concentration that fills the brains here.

When I was younger, I deeply admired this poster that had a wolf’s upper head with staring blue eyes and the quote, “Focus – Concentration is the secret of strength,” from Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I vowed to make concentration my secret strength. However, I was already pretty good at it, and it turns out the vow may have been overkill. At this time in our lives, Mitchy and I have concentration in spades. If you’re trying to get my attention while I’m crinkling a book, writing in my journal, or getting ready for work, heaven help you. The same is true if you need Mitchy while he is reading, cooking, or playing video games. We’re very intense people. Very intense, concentrating sorts of people. Old Ralph Waldo would be proud.

Probably the best time to reach us is when we’re on the toilet, or in my case, cooking or preparing tea. This sad fact explains a lot about our pets’ begging habits. If Mitchy or I even start walking towards the bathroom, a small herd of furry animals runs there to meet us. It’s because it is one of the only times they can say things to us that we’ll actually hear. That, and all the treats we give them in there.

Sometimes guests are a little confused why we keep so many cat treats in the bathroom. It’s a long story, but it evolved for two reasons. The first reason was that our cat Robin went through a period of kittenhood where she liked playing in the litterbox. I mean, she loved it. I have never known another cat to truly get in the trenches, dig, build sandcastles, and complete major architectural remodeling projects around the litterbox for hours on end the way that she did.

The problem is that playing in the litterbox can get kind of messy. Oddly enough. Anyway, Robin needed a lot of spot baths growing up – front paws, back paws, bum and tail in particular. Despite the attention she received, Robin grew to resent the bathroom due to the forced cleanings that regularly occurred there.

I can understand her perspective. She’d work so hard to demonstrate what our laundry room floor was truly capable of when properly landscaped, sanded, and terraformed, and then we’d repay her by washing the poop out of her tail. Ungrateful traitors! I started keeping treats in the bathroom and giving Robin treats anytime I turned the shower on, whether the shower was intended for Robin or someone else. This trick worked like a charm.

We thought Robin would be the only cat who needed regular contact with the bathroom cleaning facilities, because Raffi was always a very tidy little guy. Then Raffi’s health issues were getting worse and worse and he had a cough all the time, and the vet recommended we bring Raffi in the bathroom when we showered so he could experience the steam room effect.

Lo and behold, a regular steam really helped Raffi’s cough. But Raffi didn’t appreciate this assistance because he didn’t like the sound of the shower. Shower time became known as Kitty Treat Time, with treats provided as soon as the shower was turned on and when the shower was turned off, which made all the kitties very comfortable and happy. Sadly Raffi passed away from lymphoma only a few months into the Kitty Treat Time, but the tradition lives on. Now our wee kitty Hopper will never know that most cats don’t receive treats whenever the shower is turned on.

P.S. Rory would like you to know that although she receives treats at many other regular and specified times, she does not receive treats at Kitty Treat Time because she is not a kitty. However, this does not stop her from taking advantage of bathroom time to air any questions, ideas, or concerns that she would like to take up with the staff.